Well, this is not only kind of about anyone in particular.
“Rape is not sex. If I had my way, we’d stop conflating sex and rape. We’d stop using the phrase “sex crime” because sex is not a crime, and rape is not sex.”
Every well-intentioned instance of “they ruined your life” needs to be replaced with “this was not your fault. This does not reflect on you. You will get through this.”
They should not be held accountable and blaming should stop, and they shouldn’t be the ones living with shame.
They are survivors, just like those of any other thing!
This is only kind of about Bill Cosby. There are plenty of intelligent people saying many intelligent things about how and why he got away with raping so many women for so many years even though so many people knew about it. I have nothing to add to the technicalities of it, or the societal embarrassment that it took dozens of women saying “he did it” to weigh as much as one man saying “no I didn’t.”
No, this is really about how painful it can be, as a rape survivor, to hear these stories. For me, it’s not the reminders that it happened to me. It’s not the descriptions, some of which are so similar that I can actually smell my own assault.
Nope. It’s about the well-intentioned statements, meant to show solidarity with survivors, that amount to “he ruined her life.”
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